with sprezzatura.: With this ring...

Last night I had a dream about one of my best friend's wedding, which will be happening next July. She will be the first of my closest friends to be married, and therefore I am ecstatic to be a part of it. Within the first couple weeks, I asked her how things had changed between her and her fiancee since they had become engaged. She talked about a newfound sense of closeness between the two, among other aspects, and oddly I think that she has shared this closeness with her friends and myself, something I am grateful for. She and I have not lived in the same state in six years, and often we have gone a month or two without hearing from one another, but have the sort of relationship that fosters an ongoing, lifelong conversation between two best friends. Since the engagement though, I am now fortunate enough to hear from her nearly on a weekly basis. We don't converse of typical topics such as the wedding (something I actually know very little about currently), but just send small messages to make each other smile.

[On a side note, when I told my friend that in my dream we wore ugly green bridesmaid dresses and carried dandelions (apparently a quaint, farm-themed wedding), she said that she was thinking of having us wear green but is now considering a champagne dress similar to one of my high school prom dresses. I am secretly thrilled but would never tell anyone that my prom dress has served as inspiration for her wedding.]

My dream got me started thinking about weddings, particularly the size and guest list. I would like a small, very personal wedding, and I am perhaps so adamant about this that I would leave certain family members off the guest list (something I'm sure has my mom worried about already). I think that the decisions one makes about a wedding guest list reflects what one thinks a wedding is, certainly with no belief wrong or better than another. Some view weddings as way to celebrate and ensure the strong start to a marriage. These weddings tend to have large guest lists, and thus many gifts. Others see weddings as a sort of cultural celebration and lifetime hallmark. These weddings also tend to have larger guest lists, perhaps inviting many whose weddings they have attended, in a sort of reciprocal fashion. To me, a wedding is a celebration of a relationship, of a marriage. Therefore, the only people who should attend the wedding are those who have somehow supported or nurtured the relationship. It could include friends or family who have been in long, loving relationships of which I admire. It could be a friend who listened to me talk about the massive crush I had on my boyfriend when he was missing my hints and before he knew that he really did like me too. And it could include family who has welcome my boyfriend with open arms.

No matter the event, a wedding is a beautiful day reserved for a couple (certainly not "her" day, "the day she has been dreaming about her whole life")- when a he and a she become a we.

Some of my favorite weddings and those who post pretty things...